Download PDF Special Siblings: Growing Up With Someone With a Disability, by Mary McHugh

Download PDF Special Siblings: Growing Up With Someone With a Disability, by Mary McHugh

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Special Siblings: Growing Up With Someone With a Disability, by Mary McHugh

Download PDF Special Siblings: Growing Up With Someone With a Disability, by Mary McHugh

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From School Library Journal

YA-A look at what it is like to be a sibling of someone with a physical, mental, or emotional disability. McHugh's brother has both cerebral palsy and mental retardation, a fact that has shaped every aspect of her life. In the course of writing this book, she spoke to siblings ranging in age from 6 to 76 years of age who expressed feelings that ran the gamut from compassion to resentment. She writes with painful honesty and includes information about research studies, interviews with experts, and the experiences and stories of many siblings. The book covers important topics such as coping with anger, embarrassment with new friends, and dealing with the long-term care of the disabled sibling. McHugh concludes with a resource section that includes videotapes, newsletters, support groups, and organizations. This title could be of great interest, help, and comfort to readers who are looking for both information and encouragement from people who understand how they might be feeling.Peggy Bercher, Fairfax County Public Library, VA Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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From Kirkus Reviews

For siblings of those with physical, mental, or emotional disabilities, here is helpful advice, comfort, and the company of others who've been there. McHugh (formerly an editor at Woman's World and Cosmopolitan, and a frequent New York Times contributor) grew up with a mentally disabled brother for whom she became responsible as an adult after their mother died. McHugh doesn't shrink from the tough issues, even when looking at her own actions. Mostly, she reports, she blocked her brother and his problems out of her life as much as possible. So on one level, this is about McHugh's own journeyone viewed wrenchingly from another angle when one of her own children becomes blind and has a leg amputated as a result of complications from diabetes. But moving on from her own experience, McHugh offers information, understanding, and resources for others, on a wide range of issues: from childhood fears about the parents marriage, to troubles in ones own marriage caused by caring for a disabled sibling, to the urge to somehow make it all better (``For a sibling, there is nothing more painful than watching your mother's heart break because one of her children is wounded''). McHugh considers needs and problems for each age and developmental group, from childhood on. Real help, real comfort for those personally affected. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

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Product details

Hardcover: 256 pages

Publisher: Hyperion; 1 edition (February 3, 1999)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0786862858

ISBN-13: 978-0786862856

Product Dimensions:

6.2 x 1 x 9.5 inches

Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

3.7 out of 5 stars

5 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#3,228,706 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

First of all, I really wish that people who have not grown up with a disabled sibling would not write negative reviews of this book because they just don't know what it is like. My sister had polio and her illness and subsequent operations took all of my families' resources both financial and emotional. I grew up thinking that I was unimportant and that maybe if I was sick too, I would get attention. My earliest thoughts were those of wishing that I would just die so I didn't have to feel so bad/guilty all the time. Kids that grow up with disabled siblings often feel that they did something wrong to cause the disability. My middle sister and I both felt that way, yet we weren't even born when it happened.Ms. McHugh has written an incredibly honest book that will be greatly appreciated by anyone else in this situation. We live in a world of silence and isolation, how can you ever complain when you can walk, talk, hear, etc. You would be considered extremely selfish. The life of a sibling of a disabled person is very distorted.Thank you, Ms. McHugh for your courage.

I bought this book because I have a child with a disability, and I wanted to do what I can to be helpful to my three other children. It was a wonderful read! It reassured me, which is something all mothers need a lot of. It also reminded me that vigilance about sibling excesses is in order. After reading it, I reminded my children that they don't have to grow up to be superstars in some kind of effort to compensate for what my one child lacks.I enjoyed the author's willingness to be so honest about her feelings, yet even when revealing negative feelings, she asserted a positive spin by contrasting her feelings with more positive feelings of others. It's clear that much of her difficulty had to do with being raised in a different time -- when there was little help, and when disability was considered shameful and secret. My favorite section of this book is the discussion of the common phenomenon of siblings entering the helping professions as adults. She has a fresh and interesting take on this topic.

McHugh's book puts a new perspective out there for siblings of the disabled to come to grips with many of the endemic problems that this population of people (myself being one of them) deals with. Great for adults in understanding where they are coming from and really great for kids in understanding why they feel differently about siblings than their friends might. While there are other books out there, this one puts a bit of a "feel-good spin" on having siblings with disabilities, particularly in the last chapter. Sometimes you need to wallow in the frustration for a while and understand the negative consequences and their impact before you can see the positives, which is the only reason that this book gets four of five stars - aside from that, this is an excellent, helpful book that does a fantastic job of explaining the dilemma of having a sibling with a disability.

This is the first time, I have read a book, that I related to. I always felt so alone in my experiences as a child, and it is actually a surprise, that others have felt the way I felt. A relief too - that others have had similar experiences. I am a sibling of a disabled sister. This book is a must read if you are a sibling of a disabled sibling or a parent.

There is a great need for enlightened books on the topic of growing up with a sibling with a disability. Unfortunately, this book does not answer that need.Ms. McHugh feels the common denominator between her and the other siblings who lament their sibling is the issue of disability. In fact, the common demoninator is self-pity. Most of us in this world have issues with their childhood, whether they be a sibling with a handicap, an abusive parent, a dead beat dad, or an overachieving brother. We all carry many scars. It is not the challenges that we face, but what we make of those challenges.Having a loved one with a disability does not change our essential truth. Yes, it may be difficult at times, but life is, difficult that is. The challenge of facing a disability on a daily basis only makes you more of what you already are. Sometimes that's good, in this case it's very sad.Ms. McHugh may be the sibling of a man with a disability. But she is the one truly handicapped. Handicapped by her inability to stop using the disability as a crutch. The disability nor your brother are the source of your pain, anger and suffering. It is the inability to deal with it in a productive manner.The next book I'd like to read from Ms. McHugh would be about people with disabilities and how they tolerate the whiny, self-important, shallow ramblings of their very confused siblings.

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